Web sites for old school media are too damn big and cumbersome. Just concentrate on a couple of stories, done well, each day, and I bet your audience grows.
You can't/don't/shouldn't cover EVERYTHING. Look at Apartment404.blogspot.com. We (I) cover only one or two things a day, and we're kicking your asses. Aren't we?
This all has to do with shared, nationwide experiences. When I was growing up in the 70s and 80s, the entire nation could talk about The Cosby Show or Cheers of Sports Illustrated's Plimpton April Fool's Day scam. Everyone. Not so anymore.
You guys can help me rectify this by becoming trustworthy again. Do that by only covering, and writing about, what you know. There's a reason I don't write about soccer, other than that it is a stupid, pointless game. I know nothing about soccer, and don't try to pretend that I do.
The New York Times is a major part of American history and it's hurting me and a lot of other fine folks that you guys suck so bad. Simplify the site and make sure you've got the goods.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Brit's "3 and One Half Men"
We are the future. Watch out, Waltons!
And ladies: He's NOT single!
//////////////////
We ARE
...the 2 healthiest people in America, emotionally. She: motherly, calm, sweet and kind, sexy. Me: passionate, tough, intuitive, leader, physical
...the 2 sexiest people in America
/////////////////
just like Jimmy and Tina
ummmm, maybe not EXACTLY. My blog rocks and Jimmy's show es weak
And ladies: He's NOT single!
//////////////////
We ARE
...the 2 healthiest people in America, emotionally. She: motherly, calm, sweet and kind, sexy. Me: passionate, tough, intuitive, leader, physical
...the 2 sexiest people in America
/////////////////
just like Jimmy and Tina
ummmm, maybe not EXACTLY. My blog rocks and Jimmy's show es weak
Fire Departments - WTF?
Have YOU ever called the fire department?
I never have. No one I know ever calls them.
Largely there are just a handful of households in America that call on fire departments. Over and over and over.
Is this a good use of tax dollars?
I don't know, but it's interesting.
I never have. No one I know ever calls them.
Largely there are just a handful of households in America that call on fire departments. Over and over and over.
Is this a good use of tax dollars?
I don't know, but it's interesting.
2016
Everyone in America with a clue wants, badly, Governor Christie to become President in 2016.
Everyone.
Everyone.
Like Working On The Manhattan Project...
a) Fathers abusing their sons - the cause of male homosexuality?
Fathers commit the vast majority of sexual abuse of children. Mothers? Very little. Is a father abusing his son the cause of male homosexuality? I don't know. But if you can find male homosexuals who WERE NOT abused by a loved one prior to puberty (a human being cannot, on their own, have a sexual desire or thought prior to puberty), then male homosexuality is entirely genetic and beyond intervention by society.
But if all male homosexuals were abused sexually prior to puberty, then the cause of male homosexuality is abuse, and can be dealt with. What's wrong with being a homosexual? If all men are homosexual and follow their instincts, our species will die out. Sorry, but that's the truth, guys. (You know I love you)
If male homosexuality is CAUSED by abuse prior to puberty we can DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
Largely, by bringing it into the light, as in the Paterno case. I'm telling you, this is big.
//////////////////////////
b) Early onset of puberty - Is it caused by sexual abuse of boys and girls?
You abuse one girl. Her body turns on, to have a baby. Other girls smell her, want to have a baby first. Their bodies turn on. And so on and so on.
Fathers commit the vast majority of sexual abuse of children. Mothers? Very little. Is a father abusing his son the cause of male homosexuality? I don't know. But if you can find male homosexuals who WERE NOT abused by a loved one prior to puberty (a human being cannot, on their own, have a sexual desire or thought prior to puberty), then male homosexuality is entirely genetic and beyond intervention by society.
But if all male homosexuals were abused sexually prior to puberty, then the cause of male homosexuality is abuse, and can be dealt with. What's wrong with being a homosexual? If all men are homosexual and follow their instincts, our species will die out. Sorry, but that's the truth, guys. (You know I love you)
If male homosexuality is CAUSED by abuse prior to puberty we can DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
Largely, by bringing it into the light, as in the Paterno case. I'm telling you, this is big.
//////////////////////////
b) Early onset of puberty - Is it caused by sexual abuse of boys and girls?
You abuse one girl. Her body turns on, to have a baby. Other girls smell her, want to have a baby first. Their bodies turn on. And so on and so on.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Joe Talks To Jesus
Joe: Hey, Jesus
Jesus: Hey, man. Whatsup?
Joe: Not me, dude. Not me. It’s tough here in Maine right now. I feel like these people all hate me. I get angry stares pretty much everywhere I go.
Jesus: Yeah.
Joe: I’ve been shit on in pretty much every business I’ve gone to in Portland, and, really, in Maine. It sucks.
Jesus: Yeah.
Joe: I feel like I’m being persecuted for my radical but truthful ideas and speechifying.
Jesus: Shit. That does suck.
Joe: I mean, not one person has said “thanks.” Not one. No comments on my blog. No phone calls. No emails. Nothing. Not one person on the planet Earth has said “Thanks, Joe.” It hurts. You know?
Jesus: Yeah.
Joe: Shit, Jesus. I’m sick of whining about myself. How you doin?
Jesus: I’m OK. Wish my cell got better reception up here, but, hey, I had a good run. I’m proud of it.
Joe: Did you ever get lonely, Jesus? Tired? Scared?
Jesus: Yes. Yes. And yes. And I had IBS. Ever hear of that?
Joe: Hold the fuck up, Jeez. YOU, the lord’s only son, had IBS?
Jesus: I did. And getting quality TP in the Year 25 is a fucking bitch, bro. A total bitch. But I managed. Stuck my finger up my butt to loosen things up. Worked like a charm. I also took a deep breath before I unleashed hell in the bathroom. That worked well, too. The Disciples were jealous of my bathroom skills. I think they may have even put a camera in there to learn. But I figured, so what? who cares?
Joe: For real? In. The. Bathroom?
Jesus: Shit yeah, man. And they learned how to go to the bathroom from a real pro. I’m proud of that. Ashamed, but proud at the same time. Does that make sense?
Joe: None at all. So, were you a virgin, Lord?
Jesus: You think Jesus didn’t get chicks? Fuck you.
Joe: Sorry, man. Just hard to picture. Jesus cruising chicks. Man, that’s a mindblower.
Jesus: Jesus don’t fart around. Jesus bad. Bad. I snapped my fingers, the music started playing, and the chicks’d come runnin’. Every fucking time, man. I had more pussy than an NBA point guard. You kidding me?
Joe: Mind. Blowing. Ok, a question I’ve wanted to ask you all my life: Were you funny?
Jesus: I was fucking hilarious. I could tell a story like nobody else. Made most of the stuff up. On the spot. I was pretty good in those days. They wanted to make a movie about me, but I got fucked in development. Speilberg. Jewboy wanted EVERYTHING on a silver platter.
end Part 1. turn blog over to hear other side.
Jesus: Hey, man. Whatsup?
Joe: Not me, dude. Not me. It’s tough here in Maine right now. I feel like these people all hate me. I get angry stares pretty much everywhere I go.
Jesus: Yeah.
Joe: I’ve been shit on in pretty much every business I’ve gone to in Portland, and, really, in Maine. It sucks.
Jesus: Yeah.
Joe: I feel like I’m being persecuted for my radical but truthful ideas and speechifying.
Jesus: Shit. That does suck.
Joe: I mean, not one person has said “thanks.” Not one. No comments on my blog. No phone calls. No emails. Nothing. Not one person on the planet Earth has said “Thanks, Joe.” It hurts. You know?
Jesus: Yeah.
Joe: Shit, Jesus. I’m sick of whining about myself. How you doin?
Jesus: I’m OK. Wish my cell got better reception up here, but, hey, I had a good run. I’m proud of it.
Joe: Did you ever get lonely, Jesus? Tired? Scared?
Jesus: Yes. Yes. And yes. And I had IBS. Ever hear of that?
Joe: Hold the fuck up, Jeez. YOU, the lord’s only son, had IBS?
Jesus: I did. And getting quality TP in the Year 25 is a fucking bitch, bro. A total bitch. But I managed. Stuck my finger up my butt to loosen things up. Worked like a charm. I also took a deep breath before I unleashed hell in the bathroom. That worked well, too. The Disciples were jealous of my bathroom skills. I think they may have even put a camera in there to learn. But I figured, so what? who cares?
Joe: For real? In. The. Bathroom?
Jesus: Shit yeah, man. And they learned how to go to the bathroom from a real pro. I’m proud of that. Ashamed, but proud at the same time. Does that make sense?
Joe: None at all. So, were you a virgin, Lord?
Jesus: You think Jesus didn’t get chicks? Fuck you.
Joe: Sorry, man. Just hard to picture. Jesus cruising chicks. Man, that’s a mindblower.
Jesus: Jesus don’t fart around. Jesus bad. Bad. I snapped my fingers, the music started playing, and the chicks’d come runnin’. Every fucking time, man. I had more pussy than an NBA point guard. You kidding me?
Joe: Mind. Blowing. Ok, a question I’ve wanted to ask you all my life: Were you funny?
Jesus: I was fucking hilarious. I could tell a story like nobody else. Made most of the stuff up. On the spot. I was pretty good in those days. They wanted to make a movie about me, but I got fucked in development. Speilberg. Jewboy wanted EVERYTHING on a silver platter.
end Part 1. turn blog over to hear other side.
Miss You
You forgot to call, tell me you'd be late. No biggee, sweetie. I was just worried bout cha. Did you get in alright? Everything OK? Yup? Good, I'm glad. See you in a few
If "Fag" Were "Elephant", I'd Be Calling My Enemies "Elephants"
3 letters. Let's take the sting out of the damn word. How about some PDAs? How about some mutherfucking joking around....in public...so all can see. LIke what I do. But funnier.
Faggot Faggotmutherfucker Stool Pigeon Retard Nigg... Black Fucker ...Dead Honkey Nigger! There, I said it! Faggot Faggot Faggot
Let's take the sting out of these words so I can't go off again for two hours.
Gay used to be such a happy word.
Faggot faggot faggot
It's just six letters. A lifetime of hurt, you faggots! Fucking fag ass munching mutherfuckers! Fuck you! They're just words.
Let's take the sting out of those fucking words.
Fucking is fun, but if I call you a "Fuck" you rightfully get mad at me. You fucks. Fuck you. For real.
What is the future of swearing? You straight son of a bitch! Straight used to be such a cool word. Fuck you....you....straight dicks! Fuck you, straight. Hey, it could happen.
Just give it time.
Faggot Faggotmutherfucker Stool Pigeon Retard Nigg... Black Fucker ...Dead Honkey Nigger! There, I said it! Faggot Faggot Faggot
Let's take the sting out of these words so I can't go off again for two hours.
Gay used to be such a happy word.
Faggot faggot faggot
It's just six letters. A lifetime of hurt, you faggots! Fucking fag ass munching mutherfuckers! Fuck you! They're just words.
Let's take the sting out of those fucking words.
Fucking is fun, but if I call you a "Fuck" you rightfully get mad at me. You fucks. Fuck you. For real.
What is the future of swearing? You straight son of a bitch! Straight used to be such a cool word. Fuck you....you....straight dicks! Fuck you, straight. Hey, it could happen.
Just give it time.
Why So Many Fags?
Because gay men get things done. They hate themselves due to the biological illogic of their nature, and are driven to prove themselves.
Me? I don't give a shit. I'm content to play with myself and eat grapes.
///////////////////
Homosexuality in males has something to do with the two male sex organs being located outside the body. A woman's entire torso is a sex organ.
Think not guys? Try stroking your shaft below the scrotum. There is no sexual feeling, just a contentment, like bathing in warm water.
///////////////////
It's women who like to fuck guys, not the other way around. Frigid? For getting raped, yes. For sex? Nope.
Gay men like to rape women and get back to thinking about having sex with other guys. Tell me that isn't true.
///////////////////
You guys are the biological winners. I am an outcast.
Me? I don't give a shit. I'm content to play with myself and eat grapes.
///////////////////
Homosexuality in males has something to do with the two male sex organs being located outside the body. A woman's entire torso is a sex organ.
Think not guys? Try stroking your shaft below the scrotum. There is no sexual feeling, just a contentment, like bathing in warm water.
///////////////////
It's women who like to fuck guys, not the other way around. Frigid? For getting raped, yes. For sex? Nope.
Gay men like to rape women and get back to thinking about having sex with other guys. Tell me that isn't true.
///////////////////
You guys are the biological winners. I am an outcast.
What Do You Think?
You should have called
What took you so long?
Hi!
Hi.
Hey you
What the hey?
If you know the score of the Knicks game, don't say anything
You're wearing that blouse?
Somehow, I thought you'd be taller
Kiss me
Hug me
Welcome
Come
In
The heat's back on
Want some pizza?
You look lovely
What, they couldn't send Charlize?
Where's my fucking money?
Aren't you....?
Want my autograph?
What took you so long?
Hi!
Hi.
Hey you
What the hey?
If you know the score of the Knicks game, don't say anything
You're wearing that blouse?
Somehow, I thought you'd be taller
Kiss me
Hug me
Welcome
Come
In
The heat's back on
Want some pizza?
You look lovely
What, they couldn't send Charlize?
Where's my fucking money?
Aren't you....?
Want my autograph?
Thursday, December 29, 2011
A Gang Like Any Other
"The Militia"? Scary name. Bad marketing. They are just a gang no different than the one you're in.
Grow up here in Maine, or Montana, or wherever and you'll probably join a gang.
Grow up in LAs roughest neighborhoods or Roxbury or the Bronx and you'll join a gang, probably.
We are no different up here than you are.
Just a gang, call it what you will.
You watch my back and I'll watch your, man.
That's what gangs do, and have forever.
And will forever.
Now everybody chill out and watch The Today Show with my ten o'clock ladies. I am
Grow up here in Maine, or Montana, or wherever and you'll probably join a gang.
Grow up in LAs roughest neighborhoods or Roxbury or the Bronx and you'll join a gang, probably.
We are no different up here than you are.
Just a gang, call it what you will.
You watch my back and I'll watch your, man.
That's what gangs do, and have forever.
And will forever.
Now everybody chill out and watch The Today Show with my ten o'clock ladies. I am
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Thinking. Out. Loud.
Is it possible that spousal abuse and "sexual" abuse of children really is on the rise?...
...Mostly because of the higher divorce rates seen in the last century
//////////////////////
Follow me...
You're a gay man. You have a family. You can't get it up for your wife, thus you beat her when you're angry. She divorces you. You remarry. And have more kids. And beat your wife again. Because, again, you can't get it up for her. And so on and so on.
In the 19th Century and prior, divorces were only for kings. In the "modern age", divorce is a simple thing to obtain. Having more kids to abuse once you're remarried is a sign to the rest of the world that "I'm NOT gay!"
//////////////////////
The answer? Allow two consenting adults to marry
...Mostly because of the higher divorce rates seen in the last century
//////////////////////
Follow me...
You're a gay man. You have a family. You can't get it up for your wife, thus you beat her when you're angry. She divorces you. You remarry. And have more kids. And beat your wife again. Because, again, you can't get it up for her. And so on and so on.
In the 19th Century and prior, divorces were only for kings. In the "modern age", divorce is a simple thing to obtain. Having more kids to abuse once you're remarried is a sign to the rest of the world that "I'm NOT gay!"
//////////////////////
The answer? Allow two consenting adults to marry
Why I've Never Had A Friend
Because 80% (maybe) of males on this planet are homosexual. And I am heterosexual. Eventually, the male that I am bonding with will want to fuck me, and I will never have any interest in fucking them, or any other man. So they treat me poorly, with meanness and bitterness. And that is all she wrote.
Zits - Why?
Everything physical comes from cavemen.
That's because there were thousands and thousands of generations of them, versus, up to now, only about 400 generations of civilized homo sapiens. Our bodies are the result of breeding and adapting, breeding and adapting, over tens of thousands of years.
so...
Why do we have zits on our asses and faces? They serve as a signal, during puberty, that we are ready to reproduce. Sorry, guys.
/////////////////
and...
Why do blacks get fewer zits than Anglos? Because in Africa the temps are hotter than in Europe, so cavemen had less body hair and less of a need for some sort of signal to the other sex that they were ready to reproduce. Their tits and dicks were waving for all to see.
That's because there were thousands and thousands of generations of them, versus, up to now, only about 400 generations of civilized homo sapiens. Our bodies are the result of breeding and adapting, breeding and adapting, over tens of thousands of years.
so...
Why do we have zits on our asses and faces? They serve as a signal, during puberty, that we are ready to reproduce. Sorry, guys.
/////////////////
and...
Why do blacks get fewer zits than Anglos? Because in Africa the temps are hotter than in Europe, so cavemen had less body hair and less of a need for some sort of signal to the other sex that they were ready to reproduce. Their tits and dicks were waving for all to see.
From Portland to Hollywood
The Anna Kendrick Story
and/or
"Alice", Judd Nelson, and John Ford
now
Joe Sweeney
?????
/////////////////
From freaks, geeks, and dorks
To bigshots, celebrities, and Millionaires(!)
From eating lunch alone in the caf
To being photographed shopping for underwear
Strange? Strange
Where's all the cool people at?
and/or
"Alice", Judd Nelson, and John Ford
now
Joe Sweeney
?????
/////////////////
From freaks, geeks, and dorks
To bigshots, celebrities, and Millionaires(!)
From eating lunch alone in the caf
To being photographed shopping for underwear
Strange? Strange
Where's all the cool people at?
Monday, December 26, 2011
He's a War Horse
War Horse” is so bad…..
(How bad is “War Horse”?)
War Horse is Howard the Duck bad
War Horse should be taken out and shot. Twice. In the fucking head. With a shotgun
War Horse tastes like chicken. Seriously. Have you tasted chicken lately? Tastes like War Horse
War Horse is about WWII. No wonder Poland lasted three days
War Horse is so bad that Kim Jung Il is coming back to life to watch it
War Horse is so bad that Nic Cage is starring in War Horse: Mutant Ninja 2
War Horse is so bad that Dustin and Warren want to make War Horse: They Shot Him!
War Horse is so bad it will make a ton of money overseas
War Horse is so bad Billy is going to do five minutes of material on it during the Oscars. And Mr. Speilberg is going to give him the Jewish Stare of Death. And not laugh once. On camera
War Horse is so bad the horse is being pushed for a Best Actor/Actress award. New category
War Horse is so bad Kate Kapshaw wants to act in War Horse, Too
War Horse is so bad that Smell-O-Vision is being brought back to select theatres (and I pray your theatre is selected) so that Dead War Horse: 4D can make even more money
War Horse is so bad Danny Devito wanted to play the horse
War Horse is bad
(How bad is “War Horse”?)
War Horse is Howard the Duck bad
War Horse should be taken out and shot. Twice. In the fucking head. With a shotgun
War Horse tastes like chicken. Seriously. Have you tasted chicken lately? Tastes like War Horse
War Horse is about WWII. No wonder Poland lasted three days
War Horse is so bad that Kim Jung Il is coming back to life to watch it
War Horse is so bad that Nic Cage is starring in War Horse: Mutant Ninja 2
War Horse is so bad that Dustin and Warren want to make War Horse: They Shot Him!
War Horse is so bad it will make a ton of money overseas
War Horse is so bad Billy is going to do five minutes of material on it during the Oscars. And Mr. Speilberg is going to give him the Jewish Stare of Death. And not laugh once. On camera
War Horse is so bad the horse is being pushed for a Best Actor/Actress award. New category
War Horse is so bad Kate Kapshaw wants to act in War Horse, Too
War Horse is so bad that Smell-O-Vision is being brought back to select theatres (and I pray your theatre is selected) so that Dead War Horse: 4D can make even more money
War Horse is so bad Danny Devito wanted to play the horse
War Horse is bad
Come On Out
Where is the cable channel for gay men?
Money money money
The possibilities are endless. We are primed.
Who's up?
Next
Money money money
The possibilities are endless. We are primed.
Who's up?
Next
Paul and Samantha Converse. Somewhere
Paul Newman: Hey, kid
Samantha Smith: Hi, Mr. Newman
Paul: Hows tricks?
Samantha: Great! I'm so happy it's Christmas time and there's a bunch of snow in Maine
Paul: Yeah. Hows your Dad doing?
Smantha: He's OK
Paul: Yeah, kid. And Mom?
Samantha: She's great! Mom talks to me all the time! She can't hear me, but I talk to her all the time, too. I love my Mom
Paul: Who doesn't?
Samantha: She's talking to me right now. I feel all warm inside. Can she feel it when I hug her back?
Paul: Yeah, I suppose. But it makes you feel better even if she can't, right?
Samantha: That's right
Paul: Ok, kiddo. The reason I wanted to talk was "War Horse." Have you seen it?
Samantha: Bleech! Not good, Mr. Newman. Not good. What happened? Mr. Speilberg made "ET"
Paul: Well, it's a bit hard to explain, but don't blame him. He is doing just fine. The reason "War Horse" should have been put out to pasture has to do mostly with money. You see, Sam, Mr. Speilberg's company is having a hard time paying their bills. And the folks at the bank told Mr. Speilberg to make a movie for this year's Christmas or they would shut down his studio. Mr. Speilberg said "OK", but didn't really spend any time on "War Horse." A couple dozen 30 year old men, who make a living doing something called "computer programming", made the movie in the office where they work. Mr. Speilberg is sad that the movie is so bad, Sam, but he was trying to make a very important point. Movies should be made by moviemakers, not computer programmers and certainly not by people who work in a bank. Does that make sense, kiddo?
Samantha: .......um, no. Not really.
Paul: Yeah, it is a tough nut to crack. But everything's gonna be OK, I promise. Mr. Speilberg is going to get back to making great movies. And everyone in Hollywood now knows that men who program computers or work in banks can't make good movies. So next year, I promise you, Sam, there's gonna be bunch of nice movies to see
Samantha: That's terrific. I love going to a good movie. Now can I get back to talking to my Mom?
Paul: Sure, kid
Samantha Smith: Hi, Mr. Newman
Paul: Hows tricks?
Samantha: Great! I'm so happy it's Christmas time and there's a bunch of snow in Maine
Paul: Yeah. Hows your Dad doing?
Smantha: He's OK
Paul: Yeah, kid. And Mom?
Samantha: She's great! Mom talks to me all the time! She can't hear me, but I talk to her all the time, too. I love my Mom
Paul: Who doesn't?
Samantha: She's talking to me right now. I feel all warm inside. Can she feel it when I hug her back?
Paul: Yeah, I suppose. But it makes you feel better even if she can't, right?
Samantha: That's right
Paul: Ok, kiddo. The reason I wanted to talk was "War Horse." Have you seen it?
Samantha: Bleech! Not good, Mr. Newman. Not good. What happened? Mr. Speilberg made "ET"
Paul: Well, it's a bit hard to explain, but don't blame him. He is doing just fine. The reason "War Horse" should have been put out to pasture has to do mostly with money. You see, Sam, Mr. Speilberg's company is having a hard time paying their bills. And the folks at the bank told Mr. Speilberg to make a movie for this year's Christmas or they would shut down his studio. Mr. Speilberg said "OK", but didn't really spend any time on "War Horse." A couple dozen 30 year old men, who make a living doing something called "computer programming", made the movie in the office where they work. Mr. Speilberg is sad that the movie is so bad, Sam, but he was trying to make a very important point. Movies should be made by moviemakers, not computer programmers and certainly not by people who work in a bank. Does that make sense, kiddo?
Samantha: .......um, no. Not really.
Paul: Yeah, it is a tough nut to crack. But everything's gonna be OK, I promise. Mr. Speilberg is going to get back to making great movies. And everyone in Hollywood now knows that men who program computers or work in banks can't make good movies. So next year, I promise you, Sam, there's gonna be bunch of nice movies to see
Samantha: That's terrific. I love going to a good movie. Now can I get back to talking to my Mom?
Paul: Sure, kid
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Dispatch From Portland
How do you keep a prisoner going?
You give him something. You take away something. You give him something ("Oh, thank you!"). You take something away.
Pretty soon it's all over.
You give him something. You take away something. You give him something ("Oh, thank you!"). You take something away.
Pretty soon it's all over.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Just A Man
//////////////////////////
The Year Zero
"Did you hear how many points Jesus had last night? 40! Fucker is bad, man. Bad."
"That's nothing. I heard that that big Jewish kid blocked a shot into the 13th row last week. Amazing."
"Sheeeet. I got a story that tops that crap. Jesus can pick a dime off the top of the backboard. Seen it myself."
"Damn."
/////////////////////////
The Year 40
"Remember that skinny white dude that played for Nazereth High? Jesus, I think, was his name. Fucker could fly. D-ed up like no one I've ever seen. Whatever happened to that kid?"
"Romans executed him. No biggee. They execute a couple of dozen shitheads a week round these parts."
"Doggone. Thas' sad. He was a thing of beauty when he played ball. For a white boy, anyway."
////////////////////////
The Year 100
The Cult of Personality begins...
"Jesus was the greatest basketball player that ever lived. Bar none. I've heard stories that he won 14 championships in his career."
"Bullshit. No one can be that good."
"I'm telling you. The legend of Jesus grows every day. They say he was 7 foot 6, with a big flat forehead. Could pass and shoot like you wouldn't believe. I'm telling ya, I hear things."
"Dude should have a book written about him."
"Damn straight he should. Let's write some shit up, see what floats."
"Cool."
//////////////////////
The Year Zero
"Did you hear how many points Jesus had last night? 40! Fucker is bad, man. Bad."
"That's nothing. I heard that that big Jewish kid blocked a shot into the 13th row last week. Amazing."
"Sheeeet. I got a story that tops that crap. Jesus can pick a dime off the top of the backboard. Seen it myself."
"Damn."
/////////////////////////
The Year 40
"Remember that skinny white dude that played for Nazereth High? Jesus, I think, was his name. Fucker could fly. D-ed up like no one I've ever seen. Whatever happened to that kid?"
"Romans executed him. No biggee. They execute a couple of dozen shitheads a week round these parts."
"Doggone. Thas' sad. He was a thing of beauty when he played ball. For a white boy, anyway."
////////////////////////
The Year 100
The Cult of Personality begins...
"Jesus was the greatest basketball player that ever lived. Bar none. I've heard stories that he won 14 championships in his career."
"Bullshit. No one can be that good."
"I'm telling you. The legend of Jesus grows every day. They say he was 7 foot 6, with a big flat forehead. Could pass and shoot like you wouldn't believe. I'm telling ya, I hear things."
"Dude should have a book written about him."
"Damn straight he should. Let's write some shit up, see what floats."
"Cool."
//////////////////////
I'm A Cutter Of Sorts
I pick my acne sores
Can't help myself
Been trying to stop it for 35 years or so
Nothing helps
It's quite gross
I know
Can't help myself
Been trying to stop it for 35 years or so
Nothing helps
It's quite gross
I know
Like Water
She is like water to me
Life giving
Thirst quenching
Getting into my cracks
And expanding
And expanding
She is just ike water to me
And
Three quarters of the Earth is water
I like those odds
Life giving
Thirst quenching
Getting into my cracks
And expanding
And expanding
She is just ike water to me
And
Three quarters of the Earth is water
I like those odds
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Our Big Love
Too big for you
And you
And you
We stand alone
Naked
Fucking
For us, only
Not you
Our love is big
Too big for you
And you
And you
We stand alone
Naked
Fucking
For us, only
Not you
Our love is big
Too big for you
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