A) My mother didn't want to let me loose into this world. She didn't have me until a couple of weeks after the due date, allowing, I think, my brain to develop a little more and a little better than most
B) I was not a gifted athlete, due to my central nervous system being fucked by my staying in the womb for a couple of extra weeks. If I was a good athlete I'd be just another Joe Shmoe. Instead, I'm part of Team Broe. Suck it
C) I was born just a year after my sister Maureen. My father had his way with her and left me alone. I love you Russell. I mean Maureen
D) My father was very bright and my Mom is very kind. I got those jeans. I mean genes.
E) I grew up near Boston, the City On A Hill
F) I went to Miami University
G) I am the beneficiary of about $150K in government disability benefits
H) I have paid my debt off, in full
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