How Many Black Presidents Does It...

Take to fuck things up? One

Take to screw. in. a. lightbulb? Never been done.

Take to write a bestseller or two? One. With help.

Take to fuck things up? One. But I repeat myself.

Take to play basketball? One or four or eight or ten or millions. That's why it's the greatest game ever.

Take to raise two children? Not sure. Not finished yet. But things are looking good for the kids. Just look at them. They look fine.

Take to transfer colleges? One.

Take to graduate at the top of his class from Harvard Law? One, but there was a quota.

Take to strut across the dance floor? One, but hey. He's black. Oh, yeah. Half. Stop strutting and start doing, Mr. President. You. Look. Ridiculous.

Take to steal my girlfriend? None. Won't happen.

Take to dunk? Never gonna happen. Not even a Dukie can accomplish that for my man.

Take to throw a fucking baseball? What did I just say? Impossible.

Take to make a funny joke? None. Never happened. That's what JFK was for. Man, was that dude fucking funny. For real.

Take to deliver mail at the 50% barrier or above? One, but Newman is retired and the United States Postal Workers Union is a little short.

Take to breakdance? One. Can you imagine the President of these United States breakin' it down? He did.